This Is True Fear

Mansûr bin ‘Ammar narrates: I went out at the end of one night, mistakenly thinking that the morning had begun. Seeing that it was still dark, I sat down beside a small door [of a house]. While I was sitting there, I heard the voice of a young man crying; he was saying: “By Your Might, and by Your Majesty, with my sin I did not intend to oppose You. When I disobeyed You, I was not ignorant of Your punishment, nor was I seeking it out. And I did not take lightly the fact that You are All-Seeing. It is just that my soul enticed me, and my wretchedness overcame me; also, I became deluded into feeling safe by the fact that You cover me with your screen [protecting me from the sight of others when I sin]. I disobeyed You through my ignorance, and I went against Your [commands] through my own fault. Now who will save me from Your punishment? And if Your rope has been cut from my [hand], then whose rope can I cling to? Alas for the days I have spent disobeying my Lord! O, woe unto me! How often do I repent, yet how often do I then return to sinning! Is not the time near when I will be shy of my Lord [i.e., shy of disobeying Him]?”